Burn It Down by K. Aten

Author:K. Aten [Aten, K.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Regal Crest Enterprises
Published: 2019-07-31T23:00:00+00:00

Chapter Eleven

“OH GOD. ASH!” Before I knew it, the door was flung open and Brandon had me wrapped in his solid arms. We wept together standing on the porch as the sun climbed higher into the sky. We shook as the sobs took over both our bodies and I knew immediately that his pain matched my own. He didn’t blame me, he grieved with me. Sarah was right. Once the crying slowed, we eased apart and he led me into the house. Nothing had changed and yet it felt so different without Derek’s smiling face or laughter to fill the empty spaces. I sat in my favorite chair and he stood awkwardly for a second. “You want something to drink?” I shook my head and he finally sat down on the couch.

After nearly a minute of neither of us speaking, I couldn’t bear the silence anymore. “I’m sorry.”

Brandon looked genuinely surprised. “Sorry? Sorry for what? You saved my life, Ash! And I can never repay you for that.” He stopped for a second and looked down, swallowing thickly. Then he met my eyes again. “My kids can never repay you for that.”

I sighed. “I know. He knew too. He…Derek told me to take you. I think he knew we wouldn’t get back in time to save him. And I tried so hard! We just…” I rubbed my eyes as tears started falling again. “I couldn’t get him free and we just ran out of time. He said he loved you and the kids though. He wanted me to get you out for the kids.”

His eyes watered. “I thought you hated me. I thought that’s why you didn’t come around, because I survived and he didn’t. And when I heard about what happened, what you did the night of his funeral…I was certain you’d never want to see me again.”

I gave him a sad smile. “It’s funny, but I thought the exact same thing. I thought that you’d hate me for not saving him. My shrink said that it’s called survivor’s guilt. That we feel guilty for being alive when someone else is dead.”

We sat in silence for a long moment until Brandon cleared his throat and looked over at me. “So, um…are you back at the station yet? Or are you off because of your arm?”

It was hard to answer because doing so meant admitting to another failure on my part. Not only did I let Derek die on my watch, but I was barely keeping myself above water as well. Derek was always the one who’d nag me when I’d drink too much, or stay out too late before starting duty. He’d lecture me about taking care of myself. But now that he was gone… “No, I’m on medical leave because of what I did the night of the funeral. Bagley ordered me to see a shrink and I can’t return to duty until she signs off. What about you?”

“Bagley gave me the same order. My concussion and lungs have healed enough to return, but for mental health reasons he ordered me to see a shrink too.

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